After the defeat in the World Cup Final of Pakistani cricket team,
the team members were not able to show their faces to people and they chose not to go in
public and rather just pack up in hotel rooms. Saeed Anwar could not resist for too long
to be in UK and still not be able to go out shopping and have fun. So he disguises himself
as a Sardaar and goes out.He meets a woman at the exit of the hotel who greets him
"Hi Saeed Anwar!" Surprised for having been caught he comes back and makes
himself up as a woman - in Burkha etc and goes out. Yet again - the same woman greets him
"Hi Saeed Anwar!". Saeed Anwar comes back determined to give it yet another try
with the make up of a Hippie wig and shorts etc. All in vain - the same lady catches him
again and greets him "Hi Saeed Anwar!". Bewildered by now, he could not help
asking, "How do you manage to recognise me each time?" and comes the answer,
"shhh...stupid...I'm Waseem, your captain"!!! |
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Q. Why does the PN only have submarines?
Ans. All their ships sink ..
Q. What do you call a Pakistani astronaut?
Ans. A Khannought
Q. What do you call a Pakistani barrel of crude?
Ans. A Jerokhan
Q. What do you call a Pakistani dam?
Ans. Canal
Q. What do you call a Pakistani canal?
Ans. Flood plain
Q. What is Pakistan's chief export?
Ans. Sugarkhan
Q. What does Pakistan produce at the Sui plant?
Ans. Just gas
Q. At the gas Plant?
Ans. More gas of course
Q. What do you call the Pakistani Info minister.
Ans. Infomush(pronounced infamous) Khan.
Q. The Foreign Minister?
Ans. Shartage(shortage) Khan.
Q. PM?
Ans. Chugging(pronounced Chagai) Khan
Q. Patron saint?
Ans. Sina Khan
Q. Why does Pakistan build so many highways?
Ans. They put tires on their trains ..
Q. Why did Pakistan only produce 16 Phds in 52 years?
Ans. They only needed 16 to spell doctorate
Q. What does Hatf stand for?
Ans. Houri-vision Amplified Termination Fuse.
Q. What does Ghauri stand for?
Ans. Ghaznavid Houri Atmospheric Recombustion Interface.
Q. What does Shaheen stand for?
Ans. Nothing, its the way Infomush says Shine.
Q. When will a Pakistani take a shuttle ride?
Ans. The day Americans give them a two-way ticket.
Q. When will Pakistan have a space program?
Ans. When the first Pakistani gets a one-way ticket on the shuttle.
Q. When will there stop being Pakistani jokes?
Ans. Never
Q. Why?
Ans. Because there will always be Pakistanis.
Q. Why?
Ans. They're too dumb to immigrate.
Q. Why dont Pakistanis pay taxes?
Ans. They drive their own.
Q. You mean taxies?
Ans. The use of the 'I' word is a RAW ploy to weaken Pakistan
Q. When will Pakistan win a war against India?
Ans. Never.
Q. Why?
Ans. The PA marches opposite to the direction of the earth's rotation.
Q. Really?
Ans. Yes.
Q. Wont they reach Iran then?
Ans. Yes, they're getting there, they're in Afghanistan now.
Q. Isnt that North?
Ans. Yes, they turn slowly.
Q. Why are they fighting Ahmad Shah Masood?
Ans. He turns them in the right direction and speeds them up.
Q. Shoudlnt they stand still then or march in the direction of the earth's rotation to
reach India?
Ans. No.
Q. Why?
Ans. They will fall of the earth stupid!
Q. Who are you?
Ans. AQ (Ai Queue) Khan |
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Absolute Classics:
Q: How do you stop a Pakistani tank ?
A: Shoot the men who are pushing it.
Q: How do you disable a Pakistani tank ?
A: Hide the wind-up key.
Q: How do you disable Pakistani missiles ?
A: Cut the rubber band.
Pakistani Air Force officials have recently motioned for a name change for the PAF. They
want to call it the PMC, the Pakistani Mining Corps. This is because their planes end up
in the ground anyway.
Pakistani military researchers have recently ordered for the enlargement of the hatches on
tanks and other armored vehicles. This is so they can be more easily abandoned in enemy
territory.
Q: Have you ever seen Pakistani war heroes ?
A: Neither has Pakistan.
Q: Did you hear about the latest Pakistani invention ?
A: It's a solar powered flashlight.
Q: Did you hear about the other latest Pakistani invention ?
A: The new automatic parachutes. They open on impact.
Q: How do you sink a Pakistani battleship ?
A: Put it in water.
Q: Did you hear about the Pakistani helicopter crash ?
A: The pilot felt cold, so he turned off the fan.
Q: What does a Pakistani submarine and a used condom have in common?
A: They're both full of thick useless semen (seamen)
Q: How can you recognize a pakistani in a submarine?
A: He is the one with the parachute on his back.
Did you hear about the 747 jet which crashed into a cemetery in Karachi?
The Pakistani officials have so far recovered 3000 bodies.
Did you hear about the Pakistani admiral who had asked to be buried at sea ?
Five Pakistani sailors died digging his grave.
Did you hear about the other tragedy in Karachi ? There was a terrible power cut in
Karachi's Four Square Shopping Mall.
People were stuck on the escalator for four hours.
Q: Did you hear about the Pakistani family that froze to death outside a theater ?
A: They were waiting to see the movie "Closed for the winter".
Q: Why do Pakistani dogs have flat noses ?
A: They get it from chasing parked cars.
Q: Did you hear about the Pakistani who studied diligently for five days ?
A: He was scheduled to take a urine test.
Q: Did you hear about the shutdown of the Karachi National Library ?
A: Somebody stole the book.
Q. You're locked in a room with Saddam Hussien, Adolf Hitler, and a Pakistani. You have a
gun with two bullets. What do you do?
A. Shoot the Pakistani twice to make sure he's dead.
Q. What's brown and black and looks great on a Pakistani?
A. A Doberman.
Q. How can you tell when a Pakistani is lying?
A. His lips are moving.
Q. What do you have when a Pakistani is buried up to his neck in sand?
A. Not enough sand.
Q. Did you Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of Pakistanis?
A. He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met
Q: Why was Benazir so dear to Chinese President and Pakistan?
A: Cus Every time she went to see the President, she came back with a new Nuclear bomb.
Q: Why was there lipstick on the Benazir’s steering wheel?
A: She tried to blow the horn
Q: What did Benazir’s left leg say to her right leg?
A: Nothing, they have never met.
Q: Who is Monica Lewinsky’s second sexiest man after Clincton.
A: Mian Mommahad Nawaz Sharif
Q: Why do Pakistanis butcher cows?
A: Because COWDUNG is not as delicious as PIGSHIT.
Q: Why did it take two weeks for Pakistan to test its bombs after India’s?
A: Because the user’s manual was written in Chinese.
Q: Why is it so important for Pakistanis to learn Chinese and Korean?
A: Otherwise whey might end up dropping those bombs on Lohare or Karachi instead of Delhi
or Mumbai.
Q: What do you call a Pakistani with his hand up a Pig’s ass?
A: A mechanic.
Q: Which virtue would that be showing if you see a Pakistani stopping a man beating up a
donkey?
A: Brotherly Love
Q: Why couldn’t a Pakistani woman terrorist blow up a car?
A: Because she burned her mouth on the tale pipe.
Q: What sexual positions produce the ugliest children?
A: Ask any Pakistani. |
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When Seymour passed away, God greeted him at the Pearly Gates.
"Thou be hungry, Seymour?" saith God.
"I could eat," Seymour replied.
So God opened a can of tuna and reached for a chunk of rye bread and they shared it. While
eating this humble meal, Seymour looked down into Hell and saw the inhabitants devouring
huge steaks, lobsters, pheasants, pastries and fine wines. Curious, but deeply trusting,
Seymour remained quiet.
The next day God again invited Seymour to join him for a meal. Again, it was tuna and rye
bread. Once again looking down, Seymour could see the denizens of Hell enjoying caviar,
champagne, lamb, truffles and chocolates. Still Seymour said nothing.
The following day, mealtime arrived and another can of tuna was opened. Seymour could
contain himself no longer. Meekly, he said: "God, I am grateful to be in heaven with
you as a reward for the pious, obedient life I led. But here in heaven all I get to eat is
tuna and a piece of rye bread and in the Other Place they eat like emperors and kings!
Forgive me, O God, but I just don't understand...."
God sighed: "Let's be honest, Seymour - for just two people does it pay to
cook?"
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